To myself

To my mind

Body

Spirit

Magic

Wisdom

Love

To all the parts and pieces integrated as one

To unconditional

To no fucks given

To giving everything

To knowing the difference

Here I am here I am

It’s been work

And this is why I am so glad it worked out in my favor to have this last week solo in the heat of the desert feeling ready to go home but knowing I can wait a little. I can push myself to my learning point off the cliff dive deep because this is it this is the final moment and your body is yours and it’s beautiful and this voice here is from trauma and pain you know that it’s okay instead of panic and scramble and run away just slow down and say i see you. I hear you. I am so ready to finally say goodbye and it does feel right to say and say on my terms.

Reclaiming

It’s not like I’ve been doing nothing- two days ago in Joshua tree was one of the first days I truly did “nothing” and I still did a lot. Especially processing and integrating. That’s why it’s all coming out now, see?

Excited for a routine and this new chapter! It’s just going to be the transition that is hard so prepare yourself for that okay? Go slow and take breaks to take care of yourself.

But I’ve been doing work, and the work isn’t over.

[10/19/18]